Three months after settling down at my hometown,
and yet the feeling of lost and empty is still strongly lingering around.
I first thought that it might be caused by the limited source of employment choices in my homwtown,
But then I slowly realize, thinking that it might be the after effect of an job burnout.
''Burnout'' is a reaction to prolonged or chronic job stress and is characterized by three main dimentions : Exhaustion. Cynicism, and Feelings of reduced professional ability.
The stress that contributes to burnout comes mainly from the job,
But personality traits and thought patterns, such as perfectionism and pessimism,
can contribute as well.
Most people spend the majority of their waking hours working.
During the last job that I had in KL,
It has reach a certain point in my life that I hated it, dread going to work,
and not getting any satisfaction out of anything that I am doing in life anymore.
With the demanding and higher stress level in today's society life,
Burnout has become common in the majority cases from 7 out of 10 persons.
World Health Organization once stated from their studies and reports that,
"The reason a lot of us don't notice that we're burning out is because we're doing what we are supposed to do. We have learned from society that we are givers. It's important to understand burnout is more likely to be a failure of recovery than resilience."
Working in a toxic and demanding and fast-paced environment is already a challenge itself,
My stress management skills are so weak, that I am constantly neglecting the warning beeping sound
of my self-care department everyday.
I have fail in prioritizing the work-life balance after hustling and working hard for 10 years straight.
Not even doing my favorite thing like dancing can help to ease me anymore.
That is when I know my mental health has already hit bottom rock,
and depression has started kicking in.
I have lost the purpose of living a great meaningful life,
and only indulge in what money can buy to cure for my temporary happiness,
Such as expensive skincare products and meals.
After few rounds of considerations and advises from friends,
Finally, I have decided to leave the job, and move back to hometown.
Not having the urge to start working back in any of the offices at all,
It has come for the time of self-care practicing and mental recovery stage.
Nowadays, I spend most of the time meeting up and engaging with old friends,
Joining social activities and outdoor exercising such as jogging and badminton.
Learning new skills and stuffs like doing sales and designs,
I get to take more hours of rest and sleeps,
Most importantly I get to cut off all the connections with the toxic environment and people.
After months of self-care days,
I have develop the love of less going out for unnecessary hangouts and try to do more readings daily.
I have restart the journey and habit of journaling and blogging, which I have abandoned for years.
Also, putting attention and learning to be always present in the moment.
With practice, you can learn to live a more mindful life
that allows you to become more conscious of everything you are doing.
When you have taken steps to care for the mind and body,
You'll be better equipped to live your best life.
