* + * Appreciation * + *

Today, I saw a phrase that goes " The HAPPIEST people do not necessarily have the BEST thing ; they simply APPRECIATE the thing they have"~ I gave it 200% and two thumbs up for this post~

Sometimes, my friends asked me, how come I can be so patience with my handphone. I'm using a very old NK1600, since form 5 or 6 I thinked, which always has been labeled as "the best hardcore phone to throw a dog"~ LOL! it has limited space on the phone, which made me always hard to see a full long length SMS, sometimes I even missed out some SMS. It doesn't even have any MP3 in it, so everytime my phone ring, it will go "TIT TIT" or the classical nokia tune "deng deng deng deng, deng deng deng deng, deng deng deng deng deng"~ *swt*

Even my mum cannot stand with me and always say "aiyo, just take the money and go buy a new phone lar"~ my brother who recently bought a Sony handphone cost about RM 1600~ my eyes went big when my mum actually bought it for him~ I was like "WTF , why don ask himself to save his pocket money and buy it when he has enough money for one?!"

I admit, I was furious at that time. And all those sad memories started to flash back. Ever since when I was young, I cannot get what I wanted for myself. My parents always asked me to think about the cost of the thing before actually buying it, and I ended up asking for nothing instead. So that's why usually I don't buy the things I wanted to even when I have enough money for it. It's because it's UNnecessarily for me. But for my brother, he always get what he wants, and he never think of how hard is it to earn money in life. All he has to do is open his mouth and plead.

Sometimes I cried alone in the bathroom when I'm having my bath, or even in my room. Recently, one of my parents' old friend who has watched me grow up since I was a baby, asked me to go apply for a course with scholarship in UKM. She said it's so wasted of me to get a job at such young age, I should have enjoyed more about student life when I am still young. She wanted me to continue my studies and find a better higher paid job, which the best is a government job~ Why don't she go ask what my parents had did for me few years back? They are the one who forced me to go into form 6, and asked me to let go of art because it will be extremely hard to survive in the art field. And guess what I ended up like now? Art was what my life had been for the past 15 years, it was quite sad when I found out that I have to give up in it and take another path in life which is in the total opposite direction.

I told myself I won't do anything I don like anymore and made myself suffer like what happen few years back. I have once let go of my ART and DREAM as I have no chance to study what I liked. Maybe I should have fight for my right and for the sake of my interest? After time passed, I can't care much about it anymore. All I wanted to do now is to do what I like, I don't want to feel regret after years have passed just because I give up of something I liked for nothing. Looking at my brother everyday, I often think to myself, what would things have been if I was rebellious back then? what will I be doing now? My brother was a bit rebellious and he fight for what he wanted regardless whether it's right and wrong. Is it because of that he actually can get what he wanted? Am I wrong for keeping my mouth shut for all these years?

No matter what it was, and regardless of what happened in the past, it's very pain to think of it. Just look in front and be concern of what is ahead of you. Don't look back at the bad memories of just about anything. I've grown up and I will learn to take charge of my life now, the world is a very cruel place, I have to fight and strive real hard to survive, I fell many times and I felt the pain, but I learned little by little from experience. I can't care so much about the past I only want to live my life to the fullest in the future.

I constantly remind myself one motto "I CAN TRUST NO ONE BUT MYSELF! DEPEND ONLY ON YOURSELF AND DON'T RELY ON OTHERS! "

So, if you asked me why am I always a "happy go lucky" person? my answer is very simple, which is "appreciation", don't blame others; when they are wrong, give them a chance to fix things up. Learn to appreciate more in life, and ask no more when you already have what is in your life. Life is very short so, live your life to the fullest for you never know what will happen tomorrow. You are not judge based on what you have in life, but based on what you have in your heart.