Sometimes, I really feel like running away from this place that I have always been at
for the past 30 years.
I'm blessed with a family, a lot of good friends, and a decent life.
But still, there is always a part of me which is feeling dark and lost.
A glimpse of pain and emptyness.
Am I not happy?
I always doubted if I have depression and anxiety being burried deep down inside
at the corner of my heart.
I would cry silently in the middle of the night without a reason.
I would tell myself that I always have the power to change my story everyday.
Go and do something that makes you happy.
Life is about loving yourself more.
Is it true that I have been loving everyone else except myself in the past 30 years,
Until I started to feel the exhaustion.
Where is everyone when I needed them?
Or have I been locking myself out from the world for the past 30 years?
Or was it that I have been putting high expectations on myself my whole life?
But reality keeps knocking me down giving the disappointments again and again?
Perhaps I just need a short break from the world,
Cut myself away from all the humans and dramas.
Practicing the wonders of Meditation,
Which is defined as a practice where an individual focuses his / her mind on a particular object,
thought or activity to achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm state.
One day, I want to run away to a land far far away called "My Paradise".
"PARADISE" - Coldplay
When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep
And dreamed of
Para-para-paradise,
Para-para-paradise,
Para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
In the night, the stormy night, she'd close her eyes
In the night, the stormy night, away she'd fly
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