30 August 2020

[Thoughts #] Life like an Empty Can

 


Sometimes, I wish human don't have emotions.

Sometimes, I wish I don't have to suffer or feel pain.

Sometimes, I wish I don't have to care about other people's feeling.

Sometimes, I wish I can have no emotions and live like an empty can.


Its's difficult to be a woman and to be heard,

and people sometimes don't take you seriously.

I'm highly intuitive,

and I've always got a very strong gut feeling.

I've always felt that I've known

what's best for me to do

and I've had to fight different people on this journey.


At the end of the day,

As long as you're true to yourself,

You don't have to worry about impressing others

or proving yourself to others.

Keep focusing on yourself and the things you care about,

and the haters will go away on their own.


Many emotionally intense and sensitive people struggle with "Emotional Numbness",

a kind of internal deadness or emptiness that permeates their whole being

and strips them of the joy and fullness that life has to offer.


Emotional numbness finds its origin in a part of our personal history that is too painful to reach.

It is in human nature to defend against pain.

Once we have experienced a physically or emotionally painful situation,

Such as being betrayed or intruded,

We all bring all our attention to defend against it happening again.

If disconnecting with others to avoid getting hurt is "fleeing",

Then numbing out our emotions altogether is "freezing".


Although this protective shield can seems useful and started off as a way of protecting,

But it can eventually morph you into hiding from yourself or denying your needs altogether.

Suppressed emotions tend to accumulate in your system,

Leaving you a calm facade that conceals the real psychic wounds :

Anger, both expressed and repressed ; Longing for what might have been ;

Distress over past betrayal ; or the Grief over relationships that ended too soon.


With so much hidden within, you may feel particularly sensitive and irritable.

It may take only minor events to reach your "boiling point".

If your basic needs for comfort and safety are not met,

You may resort to self-soothing by over-eating,

Over-spending, or engaging in other impulsive behaviors.


When we turn away from feeling bad emotions,

We also put aside our ability to attach to the joy of all life has to offer.

There is always something deep down inside that cannot help

But to remind you that you are missing out on life.

Instead of bypassing your sadness, set an intention to move closer to it,

Feel into it so it can be approached and digested, rather than suppressed.


The next time you find yourself using the shield to defend against emotions that arise,

Or when you feel numb where you wish to feel alive and present,

You will be more aware, and your numbness is no longer an unconscious, destructive force.

Your emotional shield aims to protect, and you may choose to use it or not.

But the power remains in you. 


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