I just realized I never stopped missing him.....

The moment I walked in, he walked out with his fren.....
Our eyes connected as soon as we saw each other.....and there were smiles on our faces....
How long have it been? one week? two weeks? a month?

We met again after not seeing each other for 2 weeks....
"Where are you going?" asked Lee, I just managed to point inwards when he was staring straight at me....not even a "hai" or "there" was uttered....feeling very weird, I continued walking.....

Different than the usual days;
(1) He smiled at me (which usually he wont looked at me long enough to give me a smile)
(2) He talked with me (which usually he wont talk a thing)
(3) He knew what I wanted (which usually he wont take anything for me)
(4) He will choose to sit beside me everytime during yum cha o eating sessions (which usually he will choose a place further than me)

I was like *freeze* for a while there...he was different lately.....very different I do not know how to describe in words....We actually talked to each other....for after......2 months of non-conversation days (if I am not mistaken)....I even caught him looking at me more than usual....

I have no answers for all my question marks....and I cant even figure anything all out....things just kinda not make sense lately....Don give me false hope boy, if you don't mean to do so..... I am a heavy thinker myself, I just force myself not to think so much about u already.... Everytime I see you, there's just something that is reminding of our days together.....I am learning to lock everything inside, not letting anyone including you to see it.....not even wanna break down in front of anyone again.....

When I found out that I was constantly having you in my dreams on and off at night, I realized I never stopped missing you all this while.... I might be making myself busy and tired everyday, but I know I cant lie to myself when my mind is thinking of u in it's half-conscious state..... Sometimes I wake up feeling so tired, I just wished someone can tell me what is all these suppose to mean.....I even mistaken saw another person as him..... When he talked to another gal in front of me, incredibly I felt the "sour-ness" inside of me for the first time....I not sure why but I never felt this before, even when we were together, because I've always put 100% trust on him.....probably it's because the brokened part inside me is aching, and it's so hard for me to trust anymore....it's hurting to actually remembered the sad part....

I have to stop everything, stop my silly thoughts about him, our stories have become the passed....things are never the same anymore, I have to constantly remind myself to stop missing him, his acts lately are jus showing that we can still be friends eventhough we were not together anymore~