It had been a nice day today, everything started well….
But it’s a hurtful ending, hearts breaking and tears falling….
Can anyone please tell me what just happened?
Right at this moment~ I suddenly thought of the song sung by Madonna~
Nothing else can explain it better…
*Take a bow, the night is over
This masquerade is getting older
Light are low, the curtains down
There’s no one here
Say your lines but do you feel them
Do you mean what you say when there’s no one around
Watching you, watching me, one lonely star
I’ve always been in love with you
I guess you always known it’s true
You took my love for granted, why oh why~
The show is over, say goodbye
Make them laugh, it comes so easy
When you get to the part
Where you’re breaking my heart
Hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown
Wish you well, I cannot stay
You deserve an award for the role that you played
No more masquerade, you’re one lonely star
I’ve always been in love with you
I guess you always known it’s true
You took my love for granted, why oh why~
The show is over, say goodbye
All the world is a stage
And everyone has their part
But how was I to know which way the story’d go
How was I to know you’d break
You’d break my heart
I’ve always been in love with you
I guess you always known it’s true
You took my love for granted, why oh why~
The show is over, say goodbye
Say goodbye, say goodbye*
If I quietly take my nap, this wouldn’t have happened…
If I didn’t heard of anything that would mess up my thought, this wouldn’t have happened…
If I hadn’t cry in front of him, this wouldn’t have happened…
Should I blame myself for what had happened?
Things started when I went out to have a drink with one of my friend Aifer….
He told me some stories that took place behind my back….and to my surprise I don’t even have any idea that such things happened before…
When I think and recalled back, I finally realized why certain things are odd back then….the stories and happenings he told me actually explained and answered all my questions…
It appeared that one of my friend had a quarrel with dear….it all happened behind me and the reason they fought is because of me….
Sad~ I went speechless for a moment there and I do not know what more else I can say…It’s been a while since I last saw this friend who had a quarrel with him….It makes me wonder how things are going on now with him….This actually bring back all the things my friends had once said to me before…I thought of it for a long time…I sat there thinking while he was taking a nap….All of a sudden my tears came running down my eyes….I guess he heard that I was crying and sobbing, all of a sudden he came rushing down his bed and take a look at me….he asked me what had happened and I just couldn’t dare to tell him everything that I heard….what is the use to ask and confront him about it? Better keep it all by myself to avoid more quarrels….the more he ask me; the more I cry…I hate myself like this…I hate the way my tears falls uncontrollably….
This is when everything start to worsen….his tongue got numb and he has no idea how to comfort a crying me….all he knows how to do is get a handkerchief and wipe away my tears….
“Are you crying because of me? I treat you not good?”
“*shake my head*”
“Are you crying because of pain? You are not feeling well?”
“*shake my head*”
“Are you crying because someone scold you or something?”
“*shake my head*”
“Then why are you crying?”
“*Cry more*”
I think he got frustrated because I am not saying anything and I keep on crying without him knowing the reason….plus, he doesn’t know what he can do….
“Okay, let’s have a talk. We’ve been together for three months, is there anything you don’t like about me?”
”*shake my head*”
“Nothing? Not even a single bad things about me?”
“*shake my head*”
“Okay, then I will say something but please don’t cry”
“In the first few weeks when we just started, I’ve thought of breaking up with you. For a while back then I regretted for taking our relationship to something closer. The reason, I don’t really like your attitude. I care for you but I think I need some time to think this over.”
“Maybe we started things too fast, I never really get to know you more back then. I always thought that you were those strong girl type, those girls who can handle anything at anywhere and anytime. But lately, the way I look at you and the things you take care of, I realized that you are not like what I think you are”
“Just in case if we really broke up one day, bear in mind that I always care about you and take care of you. I’ll bring you anywhere you wanna go, I’ll support you for whatever you are going to do. You are the one friend that I will never give up on and never forget. Just don’t switch off your phone cuz I will still call you every night to know your condition”
My tears rushed down even more and fast when he mentioned all of these in just a mere few minutes time…I suddenly don’t know where I am and what is the purpose I am hearing every single word of this….is this relationship coming to an end? A few words and lines really hit me hard in the heart…and that is when I finally know how pain it is to get a stab in the heart….The truth is painful…..I am sobbing so loud I don’t even sure whether his parents heard me or not….
He tried to comfort me by hugging but my tears wouldn’t stop even for a second….The more he show his caring and affections the more it hurts….
If you said you need time to think about our relationship; then why do you still wanted to call me every night to know what I am doing?
If you said you regretted, then why do you bring this relationship to another level in the first place?
If you said you don’t like my attitude, then what do you like about me, or is it that you just wanted to feel what it’s like to be in a relationship?
If you said you are blurred, then why do you said you love me and give me all those sweet promises you made all this while?
If you said maybe we were going too fast, then why are you starting to make plans for our future?
If you said you wished that I am someone who is strong and able to handle things successfully, who wouldn’t want to be like that? But bear in mind that humans are not perfect, who wouldn’t want to be pampered and taken care of?
If what you said came true and we did broke up one day, Sorry I cannot promise you everything. Cuz I can’t possibly act like what I’m used to do everyday by that time. It’s impossible I will still pick your calls everyday and let you bring me out everytime you wished. Since we won’t be couples anymore that time, it’s a total impossible that we still do what couples are doing.
My heart was scattered after a hard stab, so many questions are running through my mind. I don’t even know what is right and what is wrong anymore. I don’t even know if I am dead or still alive. I can change my bad habits but do not ask me to change my attitude for I am who I am.
If you really love someone, you wouldn't saw their weakness and even if you do, you won't even mind about it.
If you really love me, you won’t mind anything because the heart matters the most.
The heart is fragile; Once you stab it, the pain might disappear someday; but the scar will forever stay.
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