"Yang~"
"Baby what's wrong?"
"Are you free tomorrow?"
"Yes of course~ what's up?"
"we need to talk~ I have something to say"
"I have many things to say as well~ when do you wan to see me?"
"I am free now, it's either now or tomorrow after class"
"I'll be there to pick you up after class tomorrow"
"Okay then"
"Did you eat and sleep well?"
"no"
"baby have you eaten these few days?"
"not really, I havent ate much this few days, I cant even sleep"
"baby please treat yourself nicer, I don wanna see you like this. you asked me not to find you these few days and i listened to you. please listen to me, eat something and get some rest. you fell sick easily and i don wan that to happen."
"*silence* I'll see what i can do."
"actually something happened today. uncle called my dad."
"*nervous* what? why did he called?"
"he asked my dad what happen between us, cuz you cannot work properly in the office lately. have you make any mistakes?"
"yea i did."
"we'll have a talk tomorrow ok, please take some sleeps tonight, drink some warm milk before bed. it helps you to sleep well. and milk is good for your stomach since you didn ate much."
"okay."
I finally called Dear on the night of 5th Sept. i can't even stand not talking and seeing him for 2 days....what more if it's another two weeks. the next day Dear was there in front of KCC college just like the usual sundays. I almost fainted while on the way walking to his car.
"*breathing hard*"
"baby why are you like this?"
"i didn eat my breakfast."
"why hadn't you eat?!"
"i vomit everything."
"i bring you to eat something."
We seated ourselves in a shop in Damai.
"bagi sup mee hoon satu campur campur. satu gelas susu panas."
"i cant eat so much. dont waste."
"if you cant finish it i will eat the rest."
"have you eaten?"
"already. but i still can eat."
"*stare at the table*"
the food and the milk arrived shortly after that. we talked while I try to eat something.
"what happen yesterday?"
"my family knew what happen already. uncle called and asked my dad yesterday. my dad told my mum and they scolded when I was back at home."
"so sorry."
"it's not your fault, it's always my bad. i am the one who asked for everything. and I need to settle the consequences."
"*drink milk*"
"you said you wanted to say something to me?"'
"actually i just wanted to know about that girl."
"we are nothing already. we ended everything already. we are back to just frens now."
"I just wanted to know who is she. I might felt better after that."
"you really wanted to know everything?"
"yeap."
"okay, she's some girl I knew around a year ago. we started off as frens. i do my things and she is always with hers. just like any other people, slowly we begin to have feelings for each other. but we didn bring it to a closer step. cuz we wanna make sure everything is right. maybe we are both busy of work after that, everything just faded away. just then you showed up, and i moved my attention to you. i always went out with you and used to spend more time with you. and slowly that brings us to today."
"*tears filled my eyes* I guess I am the real third party."
"No you are not. there is nothing between us that time. you are the first to me."
"no. I am the third party. why me? why do you pick me instead of her?"
"everything just faded away that time. I guessed we are not suitable for couple then. then you showed up in my life and things changed since then. lately i not sure what happen, i just felt something with her and she was the same. so automatically everything just sparks and started in an instant. that's when i realized everything is at it's very wrong part."
"who is she? someone at work?"
"counted as...you only wanted to ask this?"
"After what I have heard, I don't think the rest is important anymore."
"what is that baby? you can ask and talk what you want."
"no. it won't mean a single thing anymore. not important at all."
After that, I can't continue eating anymore. It has been a week of un-proper eat and sleep routine, I guessed my body has become used to it. Once I eat more I will end up vomiting everything I consumed. I was once a heavy sleeper but now I am a super light sleeper I wake up from just a tiny slight of sound or movement.
"I send you home okay baby."
"I don't wanna go home."
"You need some rest. you can't even walk properly. where do you still wanted to go in a hot afternoon?"
"I just don't wanna head home so early. I only knew how to cry at home. I can called some frens out later. just drop me somewhere please."
"baby, seriously you needed some rest, you looked very pale. I'm gonna send you home ya."
Dear insisted on sending me home. so we both reached my place after 20 minutes or so. He accompany me up and sitted with me a while in my room.
"baby don't sit on the floor. come and take a nap on the bed."
"I don't wanna sleep. I don't even wanna be at home. why do you insisted on sending me home?"
"you obviously needed a good rest. you are weak now where do you still wanna go?!"
"don't care about me. I just don wanna stay at home all day and cry non-stop."
with that, tears started to fall again. I have tried not to cry the whole day today, but in the end I have to give in.
"baby please don't cry anymore. it hurts to see you cry."
"*continue to shed more tears*"
"baby don't cry!"
"we don't have a turning point anymore is it?"
"listen to me baby, i have think a lot of our things lately when I can't sleep at night. I've made a choice and my choice is my work. I want to focus on my work and earn more money."
"why.....why do things have to end up like this....."
"sorry baby. but it's better to stop now and not continue getting wrong."
"*start crying*"
"baby I am sorry. I know I've hurt you a lot. please don't cry. there's a reason I'm doing this. I just don wanna hurt you anymore...."
I cried even more after that and never even stopped for a while. I didn concentrate much on what he said. All I know was there isn't a single hope left and I've saw the end. All of a sudden there was a thud and I saw him knelt down before me. His eyes were watered and tears start to fall.
"Yang what are you doing?"
"Please forgive me this stupid. I've hurt you too bad I'm so sorry."
"Get up Yang."
"no. I guessed it's good that i kneel here until your parents come back and scold me."
"Nooooooo Yang, you have to leave before they gets back."
" I wanted to apologize to your parents. they have put so much hope on me. I know they thought that I can take care of you. keep you safety with me. but in the end I failed to do so. I wanted to say sorry to them as well."
"Yang please leave before they return. I cannot let my dad see you here. he'll kick you out."
"I am such a jerk I should just let him do what he wants on me."
"please I don wan anything bad to happen. please leave before they come back."
We both cried together in the end, even hugging each other at the same time.
"yang get up. don knelt before me."
"baby don't shed your tears for a stupid guy like me. I can't cry much already cuz I cant breathe well. if I continue to suffocate myself I will loose my breath."
"can i go die instead? i can't stand it anymore."
"baby don't you dare say that!!"
"maybe i will feel better that way..."
"baby what the hell are you thinking?! please don do something stupid. if you die, I won't forgive myself. I will kill myself."
I dunno what's going thru my mind, I can't believe I just said something like that, felt like a drama though~
"baby please promise me something, you have to be strong and continue with your life~ you have so much more things to be done and i wanna see you success in the end~ being an independant and dependaple person~ you will find someone better than me in the future~ I am just a stupid jerk who is not worthy for you to love~"
"I just want you~ I just want the old us~"
"baby you gotta let me go...I am not good enough, I've hurt you too much....promise me that you will lead a better life after this."
"I wont promise if i cannot do it."
Just then his phone rang and I know he's gotta go. he has promised his frens to go for a basketball session.
"Just leave me here. you don't have to care bout me."
"baby don't cry anymore. i can't leave you here like this."
"go. I cried every single day I am used to it. so don't care about me."
he gave me a last hug and a gentle kiss on my lips. he wipe away my tears before he finally walks out of my room. I cry even more when he walked out and I knew he was standing at the door watching me for almost 10 minutes before I heard the sound of the closing door.
We obviously don't have to wait until 16th Sept~ That was the last time he stepped in my room~ and that will be the last time he'll ever come to my house. with that, it is the final ending and full stop to my love story. Good Bye My First Love~
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