Time : 18:00
Place : My house
“ Didn’t you felt that someone is coming to your place?”
“ No.”
“ No? Try to listen carefully, maybe someone is just at the back of you.”
“ Where? There’s no one here except me, my brother and my dad.”
“ Lolz~ no lar….wanna scare you also cannot.”
“ Swt.”
“ But one thing, you try come out to the balcony and look down.”
“ Why? What’s downstairs?”
“ Come out and see and you will know.”
“ *look down the balcony* What are you doing downstairs? You are trying to prank me?”
“ I have something for you. Can you come down?”
“ Ok.”
It was the day after our hurtful conversation….He came show up downstairs of my house straight after finish work…I knew he was coming when we talked on the phone in the afternoon….well, I pretended to not know about it…XD
Obviously, my feelings were still hurt after yesterday…my fragile heart hasn’t fully recover from that incident yet….and my mood is at it’s worst the whole day….I can’t even put a smile on my face even when I am happy that he did came to my house…He was hiding at the corner of the wall when I went down….he out a bright smile on his face and give me a quick peck on my cheek…then he handed me a gift bag….
“ Open it and see if you like it or not.”
“ Who ask you to simply spend money and buy things? *Open the gift bag* Pink color…*swt, take out the teddy bear* You knew I don like Pink.”
“ Aiyak, I forgot you don’t like pink…*giggle* “
“ Not funny.”
“ It’s funny, you see. *Put the bear’s head into the shirt’s cap” See, she can’t fit into the shirt cuz she has a big head, she looks funny.”
“ *Take the bear back and smell her*”
“ Are you still angry with me?”
“ I am not angry, just hurt. It makes me wanna cry just thinking about it”
“*hug me tight* Sorry baby. You knew I won’t let you leave me. I couldn’t live without you and it’s impossible for me to let go of you. I am used to call you everyday and having you beside me. I can’t even imagine what life will be without you. I didn’t mean to say anything like that. Would you forgive me?”
“ Come let’s go upstairs first.”
“ Is your dad upstairs?”
“ He’s sleeping.”
We had a long talk in my room after that….Everything’s back to normal I guess….but I was quiet most of the time…my mouth seems to be as heavy as a one tonne stone….sometimes there were words that I wanted to say but it’s hard for me to open my mouth and state it out….My tears continue to fall when he hug me…He hug me even tighter when he notice that I cried….cuz he knows that my heart is hurting….he keep told me that he regretted for saying everything yesterday….he didn’t mean to say anything like that….Too many things were going in his head until he didn’t realize that he had blurted something he shouldn’t have….He was thinking of bringing me out for dinner….and bringing me to walk around…as long as I am not sitting in the house and thinking about it….but I said…it’s a working day night….maybe we should wait til Saturday to go out together….eating outside need to use up his money…but I don’t want him to spend too much unnecessary money….So instead of going out, we end up watching [one missed call]…..it wasn’t that scary though….when the movie finished, it was 8pm….time for him to head home I guess….it isn’t too nice to let him not eating dinner at home all the time…he seems to be very heavy hearted to go home so early….for he wanted to spend some more time with me…but I told him “there is still tomorrow, and the weekends are always ours.”
I guess things are back to normal huh? I don’t know if I can still act like I dunno anything or what…. I might try to forget it….but the scar in my heart will stayed forever….thinking back I asked myself….which human being will not do anything wrong? Even me myself will feel guilty when I done something wrong….I had hurt many people before which I didn’t realized for doing so as well…who wouldn’t done any mistakes at all? We are not perfect…..forgiving one is what we can learn and adapt it in our lives …using it as frequent as we can…..
It hurts a lot to know the truth…but it hurts more to let him go….and I know I wouldn’t want to let him go just like that…. Dear~ I forgive you~
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